Do you ever get the feeling that you’re running in place? Maybe you’re trying to get somewhere in life or in your job, possibly your relationship with a significant other or a friend or a child? Maybe you’re trying to do something in your community, your church or another area of life but you keep finding yourself in the same place.
That seems to be my life right now.
Not in every aspect, of course. My marriage is great, my friends are as amazing as they’ve always been and I am not religious so that doesn’t have any baring on the issue. My children are another thing. I don’t get to see my girls nearly enough so sometimes it feels like I am swimming against the current to keep them “mine” even though that will never change. My step-children (that I consider my own) don’t seem to view me as a father or dad. I am just “Earl” and it seems I always will be. I am not saying that I think I should be viewed as dad, but I guess part of me had hoped it would happen. It’s just another battle I’m fighting myself that may or may not come to fruition and it’s basically a straight-up-the-hill battle.
My job is even worse. I’ve been doing the same job for nearly 7 years. I’m good at it, but no matter what you do in life, stagnation is a danger. And right now that is my job. I get new things here and there; sometimes exciting things happen for a day or a week, but in the end it’s the same thing. I’ve applied for new positions and new roles but constantly get overlooked or turned down. Right now is probably the best chance I have to move up but I have been holding my breath for 3 weeks and still have heard nothing.
More uphill swimming (I bet that is hard to do).
The one thing that I don’t mind being a constant is exercise. As I’ve said before, I have never really had an issue running on a treadmill. I like going outside, don’t get me wrong. In fact, I probably enjoy going outside more now than I ever have before. But when it’s a choice between the hamster wheel in the gym and freezing body parts off, I will go with the treadmill. I like my body parts (even though I don’t mind losing a few inches here and there) and sometimes ESPN can keep me motivated more than the pavement.
I won’t say I am glad to be back in the overcrowded gym. I will be happy once it warms up enough to go back outside for my running, but in the meantime I will be found every other day pounding the belt on an overused treadmill.
Other than the gym, I had another busy day at work, went to my daughter’s band concert that was quite lovely and then spent some time getting a foot massage by a weird hand-held device.
I guess things like this are proof that life isn’t a hamster-wheel, turning over and over to the same thing day in and day out. There’s always something new and exciting around the corner.
Like a massaging device that makes it feel like I need to pee and makes me taste metal. Is that weird?
Breakfast – Corn Dogs
Snacks – Granola and protein bars
Lunch – Meatballs ‘n’ veggies
Dinner – Chicken nuggets
Dessert – Donuts
An hour+ of walking at work
2.25 miles on the treadmill (shorter than I would have done but had a concert to go to)