Dear Golden Corral, Burger King, Pizza Pie Cafe, et al.
Some of you I have known for years, some of you are new friends. Some of you I have known since before I can even remember. You might even feel like you are part of my family at this point. But no matter what, I have decided I am through with you.
No, that does not mean that I won’t EVER visit. I am not the only one living in my house and maybe every now and then we will have to stop by. But the weekend meetings are over. The non-stop-face-stuffing is done. If I do come around, I am just going to have a salad, maybe some high protein meats… but I won’t be indulging in your endless pizza. I won’t be frolicking in your non-stop fried shrimp. I won’t be rolling around in mounds of hamburgers and fries. No… it is over.
I thank you for all of the time you gave me “comfort” even though I know it wasn’t real. You had good intentions and I can’t hold that against you. But I’ve moved on with my life. A new chapter. Hell, maybe a whole new book.
So don’t think ill of me, I am sure that you will still have plenty of people visiting you and sobbing into your soda cups, salty fries and bowls of ice cream. But you will rarely see me, my friends. For I am a new man, and none of you compare to what my wife makes at home.
Truly,
Earl
